Struck my Funny

I’ve been traveling across the United States for the past three months, and have taken advantage of the opportunity to visit friends and family on the way to my destinations. While visiting my grandparents, my grandmother sat down on her couch, patted the cushion, and said, “Laura, why don’t you come sit by me. I have something from church I’d like to share with you.”

Well, of course I thought she would share bible verses or something spiritually based. Imagine my surprise when she pulled out a piece of xeroxed paper titled, “Hysterical Church Bloopers.” Then she proceeded to try and read the sheet of paper. She had to stop several times to dry her eyes or to give me time to catch my breath between bouts of laughter, which made it one of those memorable moments I will always cherish. Therefore, I’d like to dedicate this post to family, and the memories we share with our loved ones.

Now…if you’re ready to laugh (and think you can refrain from being offended), have a look below:  (read to the end…they get better and better)

Enjoy!

HYSTERICAL CHURCH BLOOPERS

The following announcements actually appeared in various church bulletins:

1) At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.
2) A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
3) The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. And Mrs. Julius Belzer.
4) This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the alter.
5) Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and do so.
6) This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
7) Don’t let worry kill you –let the church help.
8) Thursday Night –Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
9) Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
10) For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
11) Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing “Put me in my little bed” accompanied by the pastor.
12) Tuesday at 4:00pm there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early
13) Thursday at 5:00pm there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be “Little Mothers” will meet with the Pastor in his study.
14) The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.

Look for Ol’ Grum’s tales to start next Wednesday!

A gentle reminder of your value and power

 

I found this video and thought it needed to be shared. If each of us could take even one second to truly greet those we meet this day, the world would be a brighter place. 

Blessings to you.

Gathering Opinions -What do you think?

I plan to use this intro at the beginning of video projects related to my fantasy novel, Xandria Drake: Ancient Rising. I may also choose to add it at the end of each project, after the credits. It is my hope that this video intro will make my videos look professional and inviting. Please vote and comment. I would love to hear your thoughts.

Today’s Tidbit: Natural Remedy for Inflammation, Infections, & More!

Would you like to keep a remedy on your shelf that has antibacterial, anti-inflammatory, and anti-fungal properties?

You can! It’s called…drum roll please…

Olive Leaf Extract

This natural extract has been tested in laboratories and shows promise. Not only does it fight infection and reduce inflammation, it is also possesses a higher antioxidant capacity than green tea and vitamin C. It is believed by many to reduce blood pressure and contains important anti-cancer components. Too good to be true?  Don’t take my word for it. There are tons of articles and websites that explain the benefits of Olive Leaf Extract. Do some research.

While you’re at it, you may want to look up other remedies that are believed to have antibacterial and even antiviral properties. Want to know their names?  Here you go…

1)  LDM 100

2)  Manuka Honey  (When purchasing this, you should make sure it has an effective rating)

Happy researching!

 

 

P.S. Be sure to read my Medical Disclaimer on the Disclaimers & Notices page.

To text or not to text

I heard a line in a television show that made my ears perk up and listen. “People in America are lonely.”

Is it true? Are people in America lonely?

Do you know your neighbors? How many of you feel like you are supported by your community? Can you count on your friends? Can they count on you?

As much as I adore technology, I feel a new wall has come between people that did not exist prior to the internet and cellular phones. In previous times, if you wanted to speak with someone, it took effort. Either you had to call while the other person was home (and then proceed to fight for phone rights because someone else in the household wanted to use it), or you would have to visit your friend in person. Did this extra “effort” bring friends closer? After all, it is widely believed that when you invest your time and energy in someone, it makes that person more valuable to you.

The ease in which we can communicate today seems like it should bring us closer to our peers and friends. However, it’s so easy to text that many can do it without even thinking. If a person does not even invest time to think, is the person truly building a friendship? Is he or she genuinely interested?

In my opinion, texting and similar routes of communication have the capacity to act as double edged swords. These swords can swing and serve you well, or they can accidentally slice you in ways you never imagined. Think about it, how many times have you decided to text someone because thinking of actually holding a conversation stressed you out? Not only that, but making a phone call may take more time than you are willing to invest. Why? What valuable communication skills are you missing out on by avoiding the awkward moments of conversation?

Aside from the “communication” factor. How many of you know, beyond a doubt, that if you asked your friends for a special favor that your friends would follow through? Why don’t you test it out? You may realize that your friends don’t have time for you or your interests. On the other hand, you may find that those you didn’t consider close will give you the shirts off your back. OR…you may confirm that the friendships you value are indeed true. After the test, ask yourself, are you lonely?

What does it mean to be lonely? Isolation from others? Feeling like you don’t belong? Feeling like you are not good enough? Feeling like you are better than others? Feeling like you have to become a celebrity because that’s the only way you will feel valuable? It’s like the yin and yang…opposites and extremes.

Being down on yourself too much can cause loneliness. Likewise, thinking you are the sh#% can also cause loneliness. The difference is, if your problem is the latter, you probably don’t even recognize it.

Then, I believe there are those that feel lonely because they feel a disconnect with God. (or whatever you are comfortable calling it, higher source, source, creator, etc.) This kind of loneliness, in my opinion, is the root of most of our suffering, if not all of it. Imagine how your friendships with others would be if you felt peace in your heart. Imagine how it would feel to be friends with someone that has peace in his or her heart. How would it change the way you do things? Would a text suffice to hearing someone’s voice or actually visiting the person? Would you continue to keep in contact with people that made you feel uncomfortable or frustrated? As you know, texting makes that task especially easy. How much more or less meaningful would your friendships become?

Is this how things are done in other countries? Are families ruled by texting?

Are you lonely in America? (Or any other country?)

I would love to hear your thoughts!

Blessings

 

Complaining for the soul

I was sitting with a friend at a restaurant and overheard a conversation being held at an adjacent table. The individuals were looking around the restaurant and criticizing their fellow patrons. They complained about people being too large, disgustingly scruffy, and overly unattractive. My friend and I found it difficult to enjoy our orders with such negativity at our backs. In an effort to vacate the hostile environment in the most expedient manner,  I threw back my smoothie as my friend practically drank her salad. We stepped into the bright sun and made our way to a park, thankful for the fresh air.

We walked for about an hour, discussing the experience we had recently escaped. After a bit of debate, we agreed that our unwitting participation in the situation reflected as much on us as it reflected on the complaining patrons. The mere fact that we judged the complainers as rude or negative showed that we were  guilty of the same act, albeit in a seemingly different manner. How would a person with awareness have handled the situation differently?  Would she ask herself the question, “If I were that person, with all her experiences and traumas, would I be sitting there acting in exactly the same manner?” Were those people criticizing others because of deep and hidden pain?  Or more likely, did their conversation reflect their own inability to love and value themselves?  Then, on my own more personally disturbing note, I asked, “Did their uncomfortable conversation act as a flashlight to shine the light on my own lack of understanding or acceptance of myself?”

After all, if I were totally loving toward myself, wouldn’t my every action and thought reflect that unconditional love?

Therefore, I thank those two individuals for being my teachers. Their willingness to participate in that moment, in that exact way, has assisted me on my journey toward love. Hopefully, they too have assisted you on your own journey, through reading this post.

It is my belief that when one of us becomes more loving, the world shifts and creates more room for that which is sacred, harmonious, joyful, and beautiful.

Blessings to you and my teachers.

Drama! Drama! Drama!

As I sit and ponder the stories that capture my attention, I am forced to admit a regrettable “truth.” I am addicted to drama. Every book, every movie, and in fact, almost every form of entertainment is riddled with this seemingly benign affliction. Television shows have contestants participate in creating false hierarchies by competing against each other to prove their worth. Heroes gun down their enemies in celebrated action movies. Characters in books face their deepest fears and struggle with conflicting desires. Without dramatic hooks, these tales would most likely be boring to the average person.

This is one of the major issues I had with writing Xandria Drake: Ancient Rising. I did not want to put anything out in the world that may have negative effects on even one person. However, how do you show the evolution and enlightenment of a character unless she faces seemingly insurmountable odds? Because of this, I threw Xandria into the midst of drama and conflict. What does this say about me?

What does this say about you? Or about our fellow readers, movie goers, and television fans? Are we hooked into a system that keeps us living outside of the domain of peace and oneness? When I stand alongside my hero and cheer him on in defeating his enemy, am I cheating myself by imagining the enemy as different than me? I mean, if we look at a well created villain, their lives often contain more suffering than almost any other character in the story, with the exception of a few main characters. Should we then cheer to have these villains defeated? Or could we show compassion, and hope for their rehabilitation? When is it appropriate to give up hope and destroy them?

These are my thoughts for the day. I would love to hear what you have to say.